Why Trump Needs Me as his Running Mate

vp

Donald Trump, bless his heart, needs my help. Every Presidential candidate needs a running mate to balance their weaknesses.

I can be diplomatic when necessary. I was a nurse for twenty years. During that time I facilitated communication between patients, families, and doctors. I divided the workload in the city among our on-call doctors. And I served as mediator between doctors, which required re-wording, translation, acting skills, and multiple distraction techniques. Find me a diplomat that can herd five sleep-deprived, grumpy cardiologists for an entire weekend, making sure all the work gets gone. Kissinger  would have been weeping in a corner.

And I’m sane. I can prove it. I have a note from my psychiatrist.

The Donald is used to people telling him Yes. I am used to people telling me No. I am Female, Southern, poor, Catholic, possibly bi-racial (Ancestry.com isn’t sure) and unable to work because of a disability, yet not entitled to benefits. But would I make a better VP than Joe Biden? Yes. On-site personal health care is provided for the President and VP, so with daily access to a chiropractor, a massaging recliner for meetings, a Sleep Number bed in both my office and residence, and access to about half the meds JFK took for back pain during his presidency I believe I could do it. Oh, and I’d need a small pool for water aerobics and a hot tub at the VP residence on the off-chance they’re not already there.

I’m authentic. What you see and hear is what you get.  I enjoy discussing issues with people whose opinions differ from mine, especially when our backgrounds and cultures differ. I took Latin as my foreign language during my Baccalaureate-level public school education, so I can only converse in English. I’d love to visit Italy, but I won’t do so until I know enough Italian to hold a basic conversation. So I expect anyone living here to be conversant in our native tongue, English.

My college education was financed through scholarships I worked hard for and lay awake at night during high school worrying about. I am passionate about books for pre-schoolers, high-quality public education for everyone, and multiple options for post-secondary education that don’t involve crippling student loans.

I believe we are in desperate need of health-care reform, and that it should start in the trenches: Emergency Departments, Immediate Care Centers, and Primary Care Physicians. Insurance companies should no longer dictate what medical care we, as citizens, receive. Nor should the government.

I believe our military and our teachers should be paid more for the hard work they do and the risks they take. I believe women should have paid maternity leave from their full-time jobs. Medicare and Social Security are not “entitlements”. People have worked hard and been mandated to have SSI deducted from their paychecks all their lives. Those are benefits they have earned and must receive. The woman with the flashy manicure, latest model cell phone, and designer clothes who is in the ER for a pregnancy test she could buy at the Dollar Tree is getting an entitlement, and the entitlement culture must stop. It’s keeping bright young men and women from realizing their potential by teaching them they can more easily make money by having children out-of-wedlock and engaging in violent, illegal occupations.

We’ve created two cultures of entitlement. One of drugs, guns, and a lack of father figures. One of excess, drugs, and lies. Neither will produce the young people we need to lead this country. Both are self-absorbed and unwilling to unite for a common cause. But maybe The Donald and I can change it. Right after I convince him the oompa-loompa psycho with a comb-over thing isn’t going to get him to the Oval Office.

If you agree I’d be an asset please tweet “Select @AngieBallard as your running mate!” to @realDonaldTrump. Hopefully he’ll realize it’s me, and not the wife of the bar owner in Sturgis. I did snag the Twitter handle before she or the Australian paralympic athlete.

 

 

Aging Gracefully

yoga pose
This is what I envision when I think about growing old gracefully. The picture above is from an article on Yoganonymous about how yoga can help lessen depression and anxiety in seniors. This woman appears to be happy and healthy, at peace with how she looks and feels. That’s what I want for myself as I age. But I am a realist, and I know that there’s no way for me to get there without help. Lots of help!

Every woman I know can rattle off the things she should be doing to optimize her physical and mental health, usually right down to the particular focus for each decade of life. We don’t need to read the article in every edition of every women’s magazine that repeats the list. Drink at least eight glasses of water a day. Eat healthy (the specifics change every few years, but basically this will always mean eating fresh food in small portions, keeping chemicals to a minimum, and eating a well-balanced diet. Exercise regularly, take time to relax, spend time outdoors, and get eight hours sleep a night. Have routine physical checkups, dental visits, and eye exams. Take vacations. Put effort into all your relationships. Find a job and hobbies that you enjoy. Live within your means financially. Acknowledge your spiritual and emotional needs and find a way to meet them. Take folic acid when you’re younger, calcium when you’re older, and a multivitamin all the time.

There. That’s pretty much 75% of all self-help books on the market today.  What doesn’t get addressed is how. What if you have a physical disability that prevents you from doing pretty much any weight-bearing exercise? “Water aerobics!” my physicians are all eager to suggest. Yep, I loved deep-water aerobics when I could afford it. But with zero income I certainly can’t pay that membership anymore – haven’t been able to for years. And my disease process is degenerative, so the odds are against me doing yoga on the beach a couple of decades from now.

The same applies to eating a healthy diet when someone is lactose-intolerant, doesn’t react well to sugar substitutes, and has had bariatric surgery. Trying to get sixty grams of fat into three small meals is a tough job.

But the most common stumbling block is one phrased best by a plastic surgeon speaking to a busy physician I knew many years ago. He told her that “her career did not lend itself to aging gracefully”.  This was a woman to whom her career was a calling, and she’d never consider altering it for something as trivial as vanity. But she took good care of herself and was tired of looking tired all the time. Back then plastic surgery was the only serious option.

My mother-in-law was one of the most brilliant women I’ve ever known. I used to say that before there was Google everyone just called Pat. And it’s true! She had the most magnificent store of knowledge, and a skill for diplomacy that would put any Ambassador to shame. All of which made her swift decline through dementia such a tragic loss. She should have grown old gracefully, and be holding her beautiful great-grand-daughter right now.

I guess what I’m saying is we all need to do what we can with what we have. I’ve recently found a site with some exercises I can do flat on my back and a lactose-free protein powder that isn’t repulsive or expensive. I set aside time for prayer and personal development daily, and every day I add something to my current novel-in-progress. I love writing – it feeds my soul.

I may not ever get to the beach again, and I may never be as flexible as the woman in the picture above, but I’m improving what I can and coming to terms with the rest! I’m losing weight (plateaued out at seventy pounds down – fifty to go) and am keeping my skin more than snug with Nerium’s Firm body cream. It’s actually done much more for me than I expected, and I just got rid of all my underwire bras! I don’t need them anymore and they were so uncomfortable. I bought cute bralettes in the same cup size that are adorable and don’t make me grumpy 🙂 I also tossed my collection of Spanx – no one is happy wearing Spanx. And since the perfectly-named Firm has moved my curves back to where they’re supposed to be I don’t feel a need to hide them!

Nerium’s Night Cream has helped greatly in getting rid of all the sun damage I earned in my teens and twenties, and I’m looking forward to trying out their new eye serum – my order should arrive any day and here are the results two of my close friends have had already:
jamie 2 days
(Jamie after TWO DAYS)
kim eyes
(Kim after THIRTY MINUTES)

Crazy, right?! That’s nothing compared to EHT, Nerium’s Brain Booster. It reduced my stress level dratically when my husband’s memory started to fail (he’s only in his early fifties) and he and I both saw a significant improvement after only six weeks. With his mother’s history that was a huge blessing!

It’s never too early to start ensuring that you age gracefully and are able to enjoy your entire life to the fullest! Do what you can now, and use the tools at hand. Don’t waste your time on relationships that don’t bring you joy, or jobs that make you miserable. Don’t worry about the things you can’t change, but start now changing the things you can! And check out my website if you need help from Nerium. My phone number’s on there for a reason – call me if you have questions or just want more information about ingredients, tips, etc. But don’t put it off, because everyone who becomes a Preferred Customer (the least expensive way to buy) in April will automatically get 10% off and FREE SHIPPING on all future orders! Miserable in your job? I can help with that, too, and this is the best month to do it!

So toss the underwires and Spanx, put on your favorite yoga pants with the hole in the knee, and go take a walk with the kids, the dog, or your honey! Be happy!

WHY Do You Wear the Bra You Wear?

no more underwires
This is me. No bra. OK, I put on band-aids because the tank is white and the first pic looked a bit. . . tacky. I’m holding underwire bras I spent a small fortune on over the years because I thought I was supposed to. I’m forty-nine, I’ve breast-fed two children, and I’ve lost seventy pounds in the past eight months. Even before the weight loss I had stretch marks and my nipples pointed South.

But I’ve always despised underwire bras. We’ve all seen the commercials since childhood. Bras should lift, separate, add a cup size, look smooth under T-shirts. But they should also be incredibly comfortable, so comfy you’d happily wear it eighteen hours. The straps shouldn’t dig into your shoulders, nor the underwires into your ribs. And of course they will make you look and feel sexy, powerful, and confident. Anyone have a bra like that? Nah, me neither.

And summer is coming up, which means tank tops. And if you don’t want people to see your padded-strap granny-bra you’ll have to throw a shirt over the tank. If you have cute bra straps you can let them show, but if you’re more than an A cup those cute little straps will leave not-so-cute red marks when you shift around.

So, I’ve been using Nerium Firm. When I was at 250 pounds I laughed at the very idea of putting this lotion everywhere that I wanted to firm up. I asked (as most people do) the price for a vat I could just step into. Even though my experience with Nerium’s Night Cream on my face was beyond what I’d thought possible Firm still seemed too good to be true. But there were all these cute little blondes, married moms, prancing around with perfect tans and no cellulite, telling me they’d had jiggly thighs last summer. So I decided I’d try it. I wanted to select someplace I could apply it easily, and that I could see without turning my neck. (I’ve had four spinal surgeries). I chose my breasts, and applied a bit of Firm daily to my breasts and the skin above them, up to just over the collarbone. Within a month my nipple line had risen a full inch! Can’t post those pics, of course, but I have them 🙂
firm
So you don’t have to wear uncomfortable bras you start tugging off as soon as you get home. You don’t have to be in pain to look pretty! Give Nerium Firm a little time – how much depends on your age, the size of your breasts, and how often you can work Firm into your schedule (twice a day is ideal, but I’ve never managed that). Once you’re satisfied with your results just use it every other day or so to maintain “perkiness” and decide for yourself what you want to wear under your clothes! A sports bra? A lacy camisole? A tank with a shelf bra? I’ve been looking at the “bralettes” on Aerie, and they look both pretty and comfy. I’d love something without a back clasp (very painful for me to put on and take off) and with straps that are pretty enough that I won’t mind if they show.
aerie bralette
Maybe someday I’ll just go braless all the time. I’d like to reach the point, someday, when I’m comfortable enough with my body to do that. Not anytime soon. I don’t have the confidence yet. I’d feel like everyone was staring and whispering, “Oh, my word. That old woman went out without her bra! Her poor family!”

But for now I can say that I’m proud of my breasts. Perky, no stretch marks, and my husband of almost thirty years says they look better than when we were first married!

So, ladies, what are the bras that make you feel comfortable and pretty? Anyone tried the Aerie bralettes? Men, is it totally trashy for a woman to go out in public without a bra? I don’t mean with just a thin, gauzy white blouse and Daisy Dukes, but someone you didn’t immediately notice was braless?I suspect I have more female readers than male, so ladies, please ask the men in your life about this. You can have a lovely dinner out for the price of a nice bra these days! Just sayin’!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Anything worth doing can be done in jammies!