If I Had the Chutzpah . . . Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop

4.) List ten things you would say to ten different people in your life…if you had the chutzpah.

OOH, should I wait until I’m off the steroids to do this one? Nah, let’s give it a shot! Like most of Mama Kat’s other workshop followers, I’ll keep who the ten people are to myself and just post the comments.
1) Get off the phone! And just because you drive a Lexus doesn’t mean you don’t have to stop at stop signs and red lights.
2) U-Scan is for people who know how to use it. If you have tried three times and couldn’t figure it out without a cashier’s help go stand in the regular checkout lane. You’ve been retired for 20 years anyway, what’s your hurry?
3) You look like a thirty-year-old tramp. Wash your face and put on some clothes that fit you. And twelve-year-olds should NOT have fake nails and bleached hair.
4) You are beautiful, smart, compassionate, and dedicated. You are a wonderful parent. Don’t let that loser you married make you doubt yourself.
5) I love you more than life itself, but I can’t stand to see you throwing away wonderful opportunities. Open your eyes, cut your hair, pull up your pants, and take advantage of your youth, health, talent, and intelligence.
6) Yes, I do think you are a whiner.
7) You inspire me. The things you have accomplished in your life (both large and small) make me want to be more – do more. Being your friend makes me a better person.
8) If you will just shut up talking about it and get to work you’ll have it done in less time than it takes to complain about it and try to find an excuse not to do it.
9) You are the reason our healthcare system is so screwed up. Stop smoking, lose some weight, eat some vegetables, take your meds, get a little exercise, stop whining, and don’t demand open-heart surgery and dialysis for your demented 95-year-old mother. Oh, yeah, and try working for a living – it’s quite a concept.
10) Thank you for posting those great stories about your life on your blog. You have no idea how many people’s days you brighten with a little laughter – thanks for sharing!

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3 thoughts on “If I Had the Chutzpah . . . Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop”

  1. I MUST say …. I love you on steroids, since I think you are even funnier. (Michael will disagree)
    Hmm, am I the whiner, or the trampy one, since I KNOW I'm not the one with a loser husband.
    Too fun!!

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