This is one of those days when I want to homeschool. OK, the reality is that even if I could afford to work less than full-time (which I can’t) I probably would be the worst homeschooling mom in the world. I have NO PATIENCE. I proved it today when I was trying to teach my 18-year-old to make Rice Krispie Treats. Yes, I know, a brain-damaged monkey can make Rice Krispie Treats, but have you been around any 18-year-old males lately? I realized this week that in only six months I’ll be sending him off to college and he has no idea how to cook for himself or do his own laundry. Of course I realize there are plenty of places to eat on campus and he’ll probably bring his laundry home in garbage bags every time he comes to town, but it’s the principle of the thing – you know? So we’re about halfway through the marshmallow-melting phase when my husband calls to tell me he’s gotten a call from Jack’s school. Jack was out sick with a nasty cough yesterday, so I thought perhaps it was a “come get me early” call. Oh, no, it’s the “your eleven-year-old’s a drug pusher” call. We’d sent him to school with a package of cough drops since his cough medicine just wasn’t holding him for more than four hours at a time and his cough (although non-productive and not contagious) was painful and annoying. Michael even wrote a note to his teacher saying if it wasn’t OK for Jack to have the cough drops in class just to leave them sealed in his backpack so he’d have them for the ride home. Jack, of course, was so pleased with how well the cough drops worked that he started handing them out to friends. Fabulous. So now we get the call, and yes, I know they are considered medication and that no medication can be given at school without a doctor’s order, and then the medication must be kept in the school office and Jack would need to walk to the other end of the school, stand in line, request his cough drop, and wait for the secretary to take it out of the wall safe, check his ID, and run a background check before he could take that one little cough drop, only to do the same thing fifteen minutes later when he needed another one. And of course in order to get that doctor’s note in the first place I’d have to call the pediatrician, wait on hold fifteen minutes, make an appointment for three days from now, take off work and take Jack out of school because the only open appointment is always in the middle of the morning, wait in a room crowded with feverish, snotty kids (even though the SICK and WELL waiting rooms are clearly marked) who infect my otherwise healthy but coughing child while I pay the $25 to get a note for over-the-counter cough drops. Of course if I homeschooled finished projects would look like this: Yes, that’s the finished product of Aaron’s first cooking lesson. If you want a Rice Krispie Treat you just hack off a piece the size you want. He’s pretty pleased with it. And the kitchen’s a wreck – melted marshmallow everywhere. Maybe I need a cough drop.
OK, this wasn’t really an emergency, just an everyday crisis, but I’m going to link it to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop today anyway. And since the school should be VERY thankful they got my easy-going husband on the phone with the cough drops call instead of me I’m also posting to Thank Me Later Thursday.