A sound heart is the life of the flesh; but envy, the rottenness of the bones.
I do this every time I take vacation. Especially a stay-at-home vacation, which is all I’ve had for the past two years and all I will have for the foreseeable future. I envy stay-at-home moms. There, I said it. It’s out in the open. I’ve always had to work, and work full-time. It hasn’t ever been a matter of, “Oh, we can tighten our belts and we can get by on one income.” We can’t.
So yes, I’m envious. I’m envious of people who have said to me, “Any family can get by on one income if they try.” (From the wife of an active military husband who has never had to worry about health insurance and gets help with housing and can shop at the PX) and “I didn’t have children to have someone else raise them.” (From someone who has never worked full-time in her life and whose husband works two jobs to keep their family afloat). I’m envious of the newly-engaged young women I went through RCIA with who complained about their wealthy fiancees not wanting them to work after they had children.
When I’m on vacation at home the things I most enjoy are the little things I can’t do during a normal work week. I cook breakfast for my kids, and my husband if he’s interested. I run errands and don’t freak out if a train stops on the tracks and I lose 10 minutes waiting. I listen to Bob & Tom on the radio in the morning. I get eight hours sleep at night. I’m still awake when my eldest son gets home from work. I might even stay up late enough to have alone time with my husband. I have coffee and watch the sun come up. I savor EVERY MOMENT.
Odds are if I had more than one week of this I’d feel differently, but here I am at the end of my vacation week, and I still feel very envious. I’m trying to work on that, because I know that I’m very lucky to have a job. There are plenty of qualified, well-educated people out there willing to work who can’t find jobs to support their families right now, and they are envying me. So I’m going to try to keep that in mind when the alarm goes off at 3:15 tomorrow morning and try to enjoy my life with a sound heart, not waste my time on envy.