I haven’t linked up to Mama Kat’s Writers’ Workshop in a while, but two of her prompts this week were just nearly irresistible, so here I am. 1.) Why are you burned out? was just a little too easy. Seriously. I’ve been a nurse for over twenty-two years, have been with the same company, doing a very similar job, for the last nineteen, and am currently in the middle of a corporate buyout that would try the patience of a saint. Burnout is old news. But 3.) Ten reason you drink coffee – well, that’s something I can get enthusiastic about.
AND-A-ONE . . . This is my alarm clock:
It’s set that way five days a week, and has been for at least fifteen years, maybe more. I think at some point my day started later, but it wasn’t much later. Only with coffee would this be possible.
AND-A-TWO . . . The coffee ritual is comforting. The deep-voiced gurgle of the coffeemaker, the rich smell wafting down the hallway, the glug of the seasonally appropriate creamer being added to the cup (pumpkin now, gingerbread’s up next).
AND-A-THREE . . . Coffee is hot. Hospitals are always freezing cold. Unless they are as hot as saunas. There’s no in-between. But usually they are cold, and huddling over a hot cup of coffee warms me up.
AND-A-FOUR . . . Coffee fills my mouth so I can’t say what I think. Have you ever noticed how honest you are in the middle of the night? If someone asks you a question at 4:30 in the morning, do you think about it carefully and answer diplomatically? No, you just give them an honest answer. It’s how our brains are wired. So when someone asks me a question before 6:00 a.m. I take a sip of coffee before answering. That way I can’t say the first thing that pops into my mind – I have time for diplomacy to kick in.
AND-A-FIVE . . . Having a cup of coffee in the hand is an excellent restraint system. By this I mean that if someone – an on-call physician perhaps – were to tiptoe into the room where I am looking up labs on the computer at, say, 5:00 a.m., and scream loudly I would not slap the everlovin’ shit out of them. Because, you see, that would cause my coffee to spill. So I twitch, smile wryly, and pretend to be amused. Then I assign him twice as much work as the other doctors rounding that day.
AND-A-SIX . . . Coffee explains everything. If something someone just said to me makes absolutely no sense, I will say apologetically, “I’m so sorry, I haven’t had enough coffee today. Could you say that again?” They respond much better to this than, “WOW! I think that was the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard! Can you repeat it again so I can be sure?”. And if I do snap at someone (and I try REALLY hard not to) “So sorry, I’m overcaffeinated” gets a much better response than “I have hit my limit on lazy/stupid/rude people for today”.
Yes, I know that’s just six, not ten, but I haven’t had enough coffee yet today. (See how well that works?) I wasn’t as wordy as I could have been, but since I know Amanda at Parenting By Dummies will totally be able to relate to this post I’m linking up to Wordful Wednesday – visit her and share the love!