What I lack is a sense of direction. I don’t just mean I get lost easily – I have absolutely no sense of direction. I can only identify East or West if I’m outdoors at sunrise or sunset. I never get North or South right. I can drive someplace a half dozen times and then get hopelessly lost the next time I try to go there. I once ended up in another state just trying to go to the bank. I’ve worked in the same hospital for about fifteen years and I still give visitors wrong directions when they ask. I just consider this deficit part of my genetic makeup. Some people are color-blind or have a second toe longer than the first. I am directionally challenged.
Thankfully, my husband has a GPS in his head and the patience of a saint. I can’t count the number of times this conversation has occurred:
me (sobbing): “I’m lost!”
Michael: “It’s OK. Did you get off at the wrong exit? Do you know what street you’re on?”
me: “I don’t know!”
Michael: “Just tell me what you see around you and I’ll figure out where you are.”
me: “I just passed a Thornton’s. And there’s a huge magnolia tree. A Southern Magnolia, not a Star Magnolia. And a nail salon.”
Like a said – patience of a saint.
Anyway, these days I call Michael a little less often. I have my iPhone, which has nifty directional apps, and I usually keep the Garmin we got for Christmas in my car.
If you don’t have one of these and are directionally challenged you really must get one right away. I have mine set to speak to me in a comforting male voice with a British accent. He does sound a bit snarky, though, when I miss a turn and he says, “recalculating”. My favorite feature? If you’ve totally had it and your brain has turned to mush you just push the button labelled “Home” and wherever you are the nice man talks you all the way home. It’s like Dorothy clicking her heels three times. I just hope the next upgrade has an option that will include horticultural landmarks. Hearing “After the lovely redbud tree turn right” would make me very happy.
I’m linking up to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, and I’m thrilled she included my suggestion as one of her prompts this week!