Meekness

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. ~Matthew 5:5

I don’t consider myself meek. Non-confrontational, sure. Put the welfare of my family or friends at risk and I’m a mama bear, ready to take on the world to protect them. But if it’s just about me I tend to be a bit more hesitant. Which is why I waited until my fourth visit to my new pain management office to complain that I’d not seen a doctor nor had anyone given me a plan of treatment. Silly, I know. But once I stood up for myself I got answers. They weren’t the ones I wanted, but they were answers. The doctor’s time is best spent with his “procedure patients” (the ones he can bill more for seeing) and there are no options left for me to try to lessen my pain. The goal is to delay its worsening, which is inevitable over time.

My family and friends have met this news with anger and denial, insisting that there must be someone else who can help me, something else I can try. They may be right. But for now I’ll preface my prayers for lessened pain with “if it is Thy will” and add a prayer for the strength to deal with the pain I have. I’m not sure if that qualifies as meekness, but inheriting the earth is a little more than I could deal with anyway.

 

Saints and Scripture Sunday

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5 thoughts on “Meekness”

  1. Love you Angie. You are one of THE strongest women I know. I have a teeny pain problem compared to yours, and without my medication, or if I wait too long to take it, I an insufferable. Pretty sure that’s opposite of meek… :)
    Seriously…you are truly inspirational, and I pray for relief for you!!!

  2. Angie, I know you are Catholic, as am I. I was not raised Catholic, though, and really struggled with the concept of ‘offer it up’ when people would respond that way to my expressions of frustration or disappointment.

    I didn’t get it.

    But I began to try, and even though I still have a hazy understanding, I have found sense of peace in doing that. It’s my tiny sacrifice in return for the Lord’s enormous sacrifice on my behalf. While the pain doesn’t go away, it becomes more bearable when I pray this way. Maybe it’s nothing more than turning to God in time of need, but then again, what better action is there on our part? Ever?

    You’re getting lots of prayers; trust that they are bearing fruit.

    1. “Offering it up” has sometimes been the only thing that gets me through. And I guess that it is a Catholic concept, because I don’t recall ever hearing the term until after I went through RCIA. And you’re right – I have such a wonderful network of friends and family praying for me that those prayers must surely bear fruit!

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