The Week I Totaled Someone’s Car

— 1 —

I’m supposed to me in the midst of a writing challenge, getting down about a thousand words a day, but I’m barely getting any writing done at all. I just can’t focus.

— 2 —

Part of it is worrying about Michael’s new job, which is actually going really well. But you know me, I keep waiting for things to go wrong. Michael says I’m a pessimist. I think I’m a realist.

— 3 —

Then there was the car wreck. It happened in the Mall parking lot, of all places. We both saw each other, both tried to stop, but my big tank of a car doesn’t stop on a dime so I totaled a nineteen-year-old girl’s car. I felt so awful. I stayed there with her after the local police had left, after Mall security had left, after we’d both talked to our insurance companies and family members. I offered to call AAA if she didn’t have towing service, to take her home or follow her home if her car was drive-able – she probably thought I was a nutjob. But other than totaling my own car in a parking garage because a paperback slid under my brake I’ve never had a wreck before.

— 4 —

So I was trying to comfort this poor girl while was so shaky and nauseated I thought I’d pass out. I put it in “nurse mode” though – kept it together and did my best to be calm, collected, in control, and helpful. I even found myself helping the cleanup guy get glass out of the way. Yeah, I was a little out of control. I even followed the girl into the Mall to make sure her boss was going to let her go home. Then I calmly drove home and fell apart.

— 5 —

All I could think of was that I could have harmed this girl (not likely considering we were driving at parking mall speeds) and that I shouldn’t be driving. I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want to deal with it, but I couldn’t get it out of my head.  Thankfully I have friends and family who understand my specific brand of crazy and can talk me out of my tree when necessary.

— 6 —

I’m feeling more secure now, have driven a couple of places, and will be taking my car to the body shop today. Really, at age forty-six, one accident involving more than just my car and with (thank God!) no injuries is not the end of the world.

— 7 —

One of my little “jump back on the horse” jaunts was to meet Dianna for lunch after story-time at the library. Thomas hugged me and said, “Angie, I’ve missed you!”. Mauve and Adam sat on my lap at the same time and Mauve dropped half-chewed food into my cleavage (it’s been a while since that’s happened). Rachel took great joy in telling me all she’s learned about snakes, especially after learning that I am horribly afraid of snakes and even looking at pictures of them scares me. Yes, of course she’d brought a book. Sometimes just hanging out with little ones is the best medicine you can get.

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One thought on “The Week I Totaled Someone’s Car”

  1. Hey, Angie, I know how you feel. I hit a deer last summer, at night, and it freaked me out so badly I could not think. It was on a rural but heavily traveled road and I was afraid if I stopped, someone would come around the corner and hit me. So I drove to the nearest commercial center and called 911. The police were SO nice; they kept telling me no one was hurt, so everything was okay. You need to focus on that! The rattled part will settle down – it took me months to get to where I could drive past that spot without getting anxious. But it does get better. Hang in there!!

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