Looking at the Big Picture

— 1 —

Robin Williams. His tragic death by suicide was a blow to our entire nation, but our family took it especially hard since we’re all still working our way back from my suicide attempt earlier this year. I’ve been very emotional, and it set Michael and John back a hard-earned step or two.

— 2 —

 The timing was especially bad since my final appeal with CIGNA, my disability insurance company, was denied late last week and I already felt like I was on suicide watch with the constant calls and texts, and then John started school Wednesday. I really wanted something resolved before he went back to school just to give him a sense of security so he could concentrate more fully on his classes. Instead, we have contacted the Commissioner of Insurance and an attorney who’s comfortable suing insurance companies. Meanwhile Michael’s still working seven days a week and I’m applying for every type of aid available to get us through financially until someone with authority to write me a check agrees that I’m disabled.

— 3 —

I never have allergy or sinus problems except for a couple of weeks in the Fall (probably leaf mold) but right now I am miserable. I can’t breathe, I have a horrible cough, and nothing I take helps. I even got John to help me completely de-fur the house last weekend, hoping it was a dog thing, but nothing changed . . . well, my house did look cleaner for a couple of days, so that was nice.

— 4 —

I realized this week that I hadn’t heard in a long time about an anthology in which some of my writing was to be included, and when I pulled up the old emails for the title and searched Amazon it turned out it was released a year ago! Not that it makes me any money, but it sounds nice, doesn’t it? It’s called Dysfunctional Family Stories if you want to take a peek.

— 5 —

I was listening to tidbits of the news on morning while Michael was getting ready for work, and There was a poll asking how many Americans had taken a vacation during the previous year. Considering the lousy economic status of most Americans these days I thought that was interesting enough to put on many glasses and turn up the volume. The answer was about 70%, which was higher than I would have guessed, but it still saddened me. Everyone deserves a vacation. Not necessarily anything fancy, but at least a few days away from their regular routine. That got me thinking about how long it had been since we’d taken a vacation. It’s been seven years. Since John is fifteen, I think he’s only been on two vacations in his entire life. That is just wrong, and I’m going to figure out a way to make sure he gets to go with his band friends to New York for Spring Break this year. I don’t know how, but I’m going to make sure it happens!

— 6 —

High school back-to-school shopping is not as much fun as when the kids were little, and we may actually not have to buy anything since I loaded up on stuff at the clearance end of back-to-school last year (Yay, me!) and Aaron, for the first time in seventeen years, doesn’t have to go back-to-school shopping at all! I do remember my first year out of college and in the real world at back-to-school time, and I shopped anyway just because I love school supplies.

— 7 —

I was planning on writing more every day once John started school, but so far that hasn’t happened. The upper-respiratory stuff on top of the pain is just exhausting. I can hardly keep my eyes open to read!

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