Nerium Frenzy

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— 1 —

Between snow days, Michael working long stretches, and John having weekend practices for his upcoming concert band performance in Carnegie Hall I lost track of days. A whole week, actually. So I was screeching at John to go through his clothes and see what he needed for his trip two weeks beforehand. Of course he ignored me, and after a couple of days I realized we had a whole week longer than I’d thought before Spring Break. Of course he still hasn’t gone through his stuff and I’ll end up in Target as they’re herding the last shoppers out the night before he leaves (at 6 a.m.) trying to find socks and underwear. And I’ll buy inappropriate boxers just out of spite because that’s how I roll.

— 2 —

 I rarely drive, since Michael and I have been “sharing” (insert sarcasm) a car for a year and a half now. But when I do drive I’m usually going somewhere I’ve never been before for a Nerium event. My Garmin is starting to get on my nerves. WHY is there not a Southern option to choose from in the accents? I’d just like to hear the street names pronounced properly. Is that so much to ask?

— 3 —

The Nerium stuff has been kind of wild and crazy, actually, what with huge bonuses being offered and new Brand Partners being offered irresistible amounts of product. Canada and Mexico are going wild, and Korea is next up. World-wide within 12-18 months. So I answer my phone whenever it rings, no matter how early or late. I’m shooting for a bonus this month, so Michael’s been delivering a lot of samples and I’ve spent a lot of time in bed on the phone trying to make those last few sales to put us over the top.

— 4 —

After I’ve taken my pain pill and bedtime muscle relaxer at bedtime I konk out pretty fast, so when someone calls before I fall asleep I probably shouldn’t answer the phone, but I do. That’s when I find notes the next morning I’ve left for myself that make no. sense. whatsoever. And I don’t remember writing them. Usually quizzing Michael about what he heard from my side of the conversation helps. Please feel free to call me after 10:30 p.m., but your order will get entered faster if you ask to speak to Michael. Just sayin’.

— 5 —

I don’t know if it’s my overall stress level, the AWESOME stress of trying to rank up and earn a juicy bonus we REALLY need, or purely hormonal, but most days are one continuous hot flash. If Mom wasn’t a breast cancer survivor I’d be on hormone replacement faster than you can say boc fan, but that’s not an option. So I’ll just continue to live life in my own personal sauna.

— 6 —

Even though I’m very enthusiastic about Nerium right now, and even have John using it because he wants to grow some sort of facial hair (I didn’t ask for details – saving that battle for later) Michael has been quite a pill about it. He has nothing but negative things to say about our odds of ranking up this month, he refused to even look at the pictures I took at Lexus of Louisville, and he’s not even using the product! As long as he keeps delivering samples I won’t complain, but this could well be our future. A fabulous and happy future at that. So if he thinks I’m standing on a stage with him all frowny-faced while we hold a massive bonus check he’s in for a big surprise.

— 7 —

I have a terrible case of puppy fever. It doesn’t help that a spent an afternoon with a Golden Doodle pup and a St. Bernard pup the other day, and that a friend emailed my a chocolate lab pup picture. I may have to email my pic to all the local animal shelters with an attachment telling them not to let me adopt a puppy, that we’re at our two-dog limit. I’m not known for my self-control where animals are concerned.

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