Why Trump Needs Me as his Running Mate

vp

Donald Trump, bless his heart, needs my help. Every Presidential candidate needs a running mate to balance their weaknesses.

I can be diplomatic when necessary. I was a nurse for twenty years. During that time I facilitated communication between patients, families, and doctors. I divided the workload in the city among our on-call doctors. And I served as mediator between doctors, which required re-wording, translation, acting skills, and multiple distraction techniques. Find me a diplomat that can herd five sleep-deprived, grumpy cardiologists for an entire weekend, making sure all the work gets gone. Kissinger  would have been weeping in a corner.

And I’m sane. I can prove it. I have a note from my psychiatrist.

The Donald is used to people telling him Yes. I am used to people telling me No. I am Female, Southern, poor, Catholic, possibly bi-racial (Ancestry.com isn’t sure) and unable to work because of a disability, yet not entitled to benefits. But would I make a better VP than Joe Biden? Yes. On-site personal health care is provided for the President and VP, so with daily access to a chiropractor, a massaging recliner for meetings, a Sleep Number bed in both my office and residence, and access to about half the meds JFK took for back pain during his presidency I believe I could do it. Oh, and I’d need a small pool for water aerobics and a hot tub at the VP residence on the off-chance they’re not already there.

I’m authentic. What you see and hear is what you get.  I enjoy discussing issues with people whose opinions differ from mine, especially when our backgrounds and cultures differ. I took Latin as my foreign language during my Baccalaureate-level public school education, so I can only converse in English. I’d love to visit Italy, but I won’t do so until I know enough Italian to hold a basic conversation. So I expect anyone living here to be conversant in our native tongue, English.

My college education was financed through scholarships I worked hard for and lay awake at night during high school worrying about. I am passionate about books for pre-schoolers, high-quality public education for everyone, and multiple options for post-secondary education that don’t involve crippling student loans.

I believe we are in desperate need of health-care reform, and that it should start in the trenches: Emergency Departments, Immediate Care Centers, and Primary Care Physicians. Insurance companies should no longer dictate what medical care we, as citizens, receive. Nor should the government.

I believe our military and our teachers should be paid more for the hard work they do and the risks they take. I believe women should have paid maternity leave from their full-time jobs. Medicare and Social Security are not “entitlements”. People have worked hard and been mandated to have SSI deducted from their paychecks all their lives. Those are benefits they have earned and must receive. The woman with the flashy manicure, latest model cell phone, and designer clothes who is in the ER for a pregnancy test she could buy at the Dollar Tree is getting an entitlement, and the entitlement culture must stop. It’s keeping bright young men and women from realizing their potential by teaching them they can more easily make money by having children out-of-wedlock and engaging in violent, illegal occupations.

We’ve created two cultures of entitlement. One of drugs, guns, and a lack of father figures. One of excess, drugs, and lies. Neither will produce the young people we need to lead this country. Both are self-absorbed and unwilling to unite for a common cause. But maybe The Donald and I can change it. Right after I convince him the oompa-loompa psycho with a comb-over thing isn’t going to get him to the Oval Office.

If you agree I’d be an asset please tweet “Select @AngieBallard as your running mate!” to @realDonaldTrump. Hopefully he’ll realize it’s me, and not the wife of the bar owner in Sturgis. I did snag the Twitter handle before she or the Australian paralympic athlete.

 

 

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