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Mischief for Halloween!

Tiffany Reisz is in Kentucky!

November 4, 2017 WEKY Conference (speaking + signing — advance registration required), 9am-4pm, Morehead, KY

November 18, 2017Kentucky Book Fair (signing — free admission) 9am-4pm, Alltech Arena at the Kentucky Horse Park, Lexington, KY

If I’m able I’ll be there for both Lexington and Morehead.  My eldest son graduated from Morehead. He was on the drumline and yelled, “Go, Head!” much more often than necessary. Their cadence as they marched off the field is called FUBAR.

Yeah, my eldest, Aaron, is the one who finally acknowledges me after they take off their plumes.

Really, what location could be more perfect?! Tiffany Reisz, Lexington native, educated at Centre College, is an incredibly talented author. Her books after the Original Sinners series prove she doesn’t have to write erotica to make my panties wet! Although I still consider Angel my favorite romance. I cried so much. My husband prefers I read to him, but he has yet to finish a chapter. And no, he hasn’t heard Angel yet – LOL! Perhaps I should read audio books for a living.

If you can’t find time to hear Tiffany speak or sign something naughty in her latest novel at least read Mischief. It’s now officially my favorite Halloween story! A French submissive vintner and a Dominatrix go hunting ghosts and looking for a threesome in Salem on Halloween? It’s even better than you can imagine, which is usual for Tiffany!

Best of all, it’s FREE on Kindle right now, so CELEBRATE!! And then buy everything else she’s written. My husband calls it “inspirational reading” – he loves it when Tiffany releases a new book!

The Best Book I’ve Read in 2017

It was just no contest in the Mama Kat writing prompts this week. October is evidently National Book Month. Who knew? I’ve got 2-3 books going at the same time (as usual). But my favorite book by my favorite author. . . I’ve already read it twice this year.

Joe, you had me at Martha Quinn. Yes, I know that’s well into the book, but it had the potential to go all to hell before that, and I’m a massive literary skeptic. Once you brought back a vision of my favorite MTV V-Jay I knew you wouldn’t let me down. And you didn’t.

I read Heart-Shaped Box back in 2007, but eventually forgot to keep looking for new releases. My loss! He’s always published as Joe Hill, and it was a decade before he even told his agent his full name was Joe Hill King.



For those of you who have perused my bookshelves over the years: No, I have not lost my mind (yet). It turns out all the twisted under-the-stairs, in-the-cellar creepiness of my life-long favorite author, Stephen King, was passed along to his son Joe. Luckily enough, Joe also got a gift from his mom for building deep characters of both genders and all races. His books are AMAZING, and don’t need to be read in any certain order. Just READ them!

Tips for Your First Colonoscopy

7qt_lyceum_v2

— 1 —

Yeah, I know. Not what you really want to read. But if you are about to turn fifty or if you are younger and have a family history of colon cancer you need to be prepared for this. I wasn’t, but I got lucky. AND there were absolutely no abnormalities, so I don’t even have to think about this for another decade.

— 2 —

Know all the details about your “prep” well ahead of time. You will not be able to do anything during your bowel prep that you can’t do while having explosive diarrhea. The prep is designed to clean your colon out completely so the doctor can get a good look at all the tissue inside there. Your prep can be anywhere from twenty-four to seventy-two hours depending on your doc’s preference and your health history. If you have the seventy-two hour prep schedule yourself a day off afterwards to recover as well. Seriously.

— 3 —

At an early point during the prep you’ll be able to have clear liquids. That means you have to be able to see through it. You can have apple juice, but not orange juice. Beef broth is really good – it tastes like “real food”. And here’s something I always have in the fridge for GI bugs, really busy days, or when I know I’m just not getting enough protein: Protein Water. I’ve found it in both grocery stores and specialty stores like GNC.  Twenty grams protein and only eighty calories. It only comes in Orange and Blueberry, and it’s pricey, but it’s not like you’re going to be living off the stuff!

— 4 —

While we’re on the topic of clear liquids let’s talk about coffee. Black coffee is a clear liquid. Coffee with creamer is NOT. So wean yourself off your caffeinated drinks a few days before the big cleanse. I forgot to do this, so I got to add a big ol’ caffeine-withdrawal headache to my list of miseries on procedure day.

— 5 —

Here are some things to buy or arrange for in advance. You’re going to need your own dedicated bathroom. If your house has only one bathroom anyone else who lives there is going to have to make other arrangements. Dead serious. This is like the worst GI bug you’ve ever had TIMES TEN. You also want plenty of nice, soft toilet paper. Don’t bargain-hunt. Buy the good stuff. While you’re in that aisle get some flushable wipes for the last couple of hours of your prep, when it’s going to feel like fire is spouting from your rear end.

And I was incredibly thankful we still had a pack of adult diapers Michael had received as a gag gift at his fiftieth birthday party. (Yeah, my de-cluttering isn’t going so well.) Buy a package! I wore a pair to the hospital the day of the procedure. With yoga pants. Honey, I took visible panty line to a whole new level.

— 6 —

You will need something to distract you during the many hours it takes to drink four liters of rather nasty-tasting liquid and then have all of that spew out the other end. I read two really good books. I highly recommend them even if you’re not going to read them on the toilet! They are both light, funny, and exceptionally well-written. I’ve read books by both these authors in the past, and thankfully it looks like they both have plenty more available!

— 7 —

On colonoscopy day itself make sure you have someone with you. Odds are you’ll be too groggy to remember what the doctor tells you, and you certainly can’t drive yourself home! Make sure this nice person has a book to read, music to listen to, or games to play. Almost all hospitals have free wifi, and almost all doctors run late now and then. Good luck!

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain’t The Lyceum!

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