A few days ago one of my step-brothers was bitten by a copperhead while hiking. He was bitten on the hand. He was bitten on the hand because although he correctly identified the snake and knew it was poisonous he still poked it with a stick.
Then yesterday my step-sister (completely different family, absolutely no relation to the aforementioned step-brother) got married. AWWW. She got married on the same day her home-incarceration anklet came off. She’s on probation for selling prescription drugs.
Comparatively, I’m both classy and brilliant this week. Seriously, you can’t make this shit up.