Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. ~Matthew 5:5
I don’t consider myself meek. Non-confrontational, sure. Put the welfare of my family or friends at risk and I’m a mama bear, ready to take on the world to protect them. But if it’s just about me I tend to be a bit more hesitant. Which is why I waited until my fourth visit to my new pain management office to complain that I’d not seen a doctor nor had anyone given me a plan of treatment. Silly, I know. But once I stood up for myself I got answers. They weren’t the ones I wanted, but they were answers. The doctor’s time is best spent with his “procedure patients” (the ones he can bill more for seeing) and there are no options left for me to try to lessen my pain. The goal is to delay its worsening, which is inevitable over time.
My family and friends have met this news with anger and denial, insisting that there must be someone else who can help me, something else I can try. They may be right. But for now I’ll preface my prayers for lessened pain with “if it is Thy will” and add a prayer for the strength to deal with the pain I have. I’m not sure if that qualifies as meekness, but inheriting the earth is a little more than I could deal with anyway.