More of John’s Homework (Brace Yourself!)

Since I posted some of John’s current events assignment on the blog several weeks ago and got quite a response I asked him to send me another set.  This one, I believe, was from the week after the election.  And just so you know, we had a long talk after I read the second article.  And remember, he doesn’t show these to me before he turns them in – I only see them after the teacher has graded them.  From all the happy faces, underlines, and arrows I bet she saves his for last and pours a glass of wine before she reads them.

This article concerns Kentucky news.

“Woman Who Drove on Sidewalk Must Wear ‘Idiot’ Sign.”

When reading this, I was quite surprised by the information I saw. Not by the woman’s actions, but by the punishment she got. I’m surprised that wearing an “idiot” sign is on their list of punishments. I’m not against it, but it just seems a bit light. She drove on a SIDEWALK, because apparently her time is so much more important than everyone else’s. She should get her license revoked for months! That isn’t a felony, that’s just straight-up idiocy! Humiliation is pretty bad, but that just isn’t enough for this woman! A sidewalk! I’ll say it again! SIDEWALK! That’s not for cars! Sorry, I’m just extremely irritated by this. It pains me to see that people still have the ability to be oblivious to simple rules, other people’s feelings, and pretty much anything that isn’t them. Thankfully, I can still sleep at night knowing that Karma has a great way of punishing those who deserve it, and rewarding the good folk. I’m sure that something as idiotic or even more idiotic will happen in the near future, and sadly, I am ready for it. And even worse, so is everyone else. Well, thanks for reading my homework assignment. Now if you’ll excuse me, its 7:05, and I really want to play Halo.

Link to the article:


This article concerns National news.

“Two States Legalize Pot, but Aren’t Ready to ‘Break Out the Cheetos’ Yet.”

Alright, I know what you’re thinking. “John, aren’t you going to talk about the election?” No, I’m not, because the results are extremely irritating. With Obama’s plan, there’s a decent chance that my brother won’t be able to get a job, and this goes for his new wife too, when he gets out of college. It also means that my dad might not be able to get a new, better job and be stuck doing the one he has for more years than the family would care for. Sorry, I’m off topic. Alright, right off the bat, this title is awesome. It also helps to prove a point that I will explain in this article. Just now, a few states are getting the idea of legalizing marijuana, or “pot.” Why they’re just now considering it however, escapes me. It’s not like marijuana is the worst drug in history. Other drugs are just horrible and will leave the user half-brain-dead and stuck in a permanent stupor. Marijuana does less body damage than alcohol. See the point? Plus, imagine the new profits for stuff. If pot was legal, more people would be getting the munchies, and they would buy more junk food, thus increasing the profits for the snack food suppliers. Also, it would make for some AMAZING music and movies. Imagine Pink Floyd times ten. Yeah, you get it now, don’t you? Well, I should probably stop talking about pot on my homework assignment. Thanks for reading.

Link to the article:

This article concerns worldwide news.

“Elephant in South Korean Zoo Imitates Human Speech.”

Okay, I know I was against fun science and random experiments last time, but this is pretty cool. Parrots can go squawk at each other because I would much rather go to the zoo to talk to the elephants. I couldn’t care less if they only speak Korean, I’d still pay to chat with them. This could actually lead to bigger, better discoveries that just may help with the development of the human race. It’s ironic that the idea involves the advancement of animals, but still. If we can get monkeys or common birds to talk than we could replace phones or e-mails. We could pave the way for the natural fabrication of important species and create message lizards. If you get that reference, I’m proud of you. Plus, it could support the advancement for machines as well. While digging deeper into what makes nature tick, we could find out how to successfully create bipedal walking-machines. Sounds impractical, I know. But imagine the speed and durability that a walker would have! Imagine the military power that we would gain! Imagine the profits for car manufacturers! Everybody wins! Especially North Korea, because they started the whole thing in the first place! But a man can only dream, and time will have to tell if my predictions are correct. Thanks for reading.

Link to the article:

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9 thoughts on “More of John’s Homework (Brace Yourself!)”

  1. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! I totally agree about all the great music and movies that would come from more access to marijuana… Willie Nelson, anyone? Love this kid. He is awesome.

      1. 🙂 Believe me, she gets a kick out of the things my brother has written as well. It was funny when one of us would have a teacher that the other one had previously because the two of us are so different and they’d tell us that we’re nothing like our sister/brother. I was the sweet little honor student and my brother was just… creative.

        Funny story: when I see a mom out with a pair of twins who are babies or toddlers and I tell them that I’m a twin, the first thing out of their mouths is, “How’s your mother?”

          1. Laughing at you and Jen …. one of my pals is a twin from a LARGE family. I asked Susan how her mother did it …. and she says, “Well, she’s lost her mind now, but she seemed fine then!”


            When I see twin mommas out, I smile and nod. If they look stressed, I try to help. If I meet adult twins, I’m always wondering how to ask them “Quick! Tell me how not to mess up my boys!”

  2. You really need to make these a “regular” on your blog…He is just TOO funny! As a former teacher, I would just LOVE to have homework like THAT to read! Love it.

    1. I told him when I posted this that he was now tied with Dianna as my most frequent guest poster. I’m considering turning my manuscript over to him – I think I may enjoy his writing more than my own!

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