New Year’s Resolutions for 2010

Lots of good prompts on this week’s Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, but I’m going with the obvious – New Year’s Resolutions.

1.) Gain 10 pounds. Gosh, it’s so hard to keep my weight up where it needs to be – I must be working out too often again. It’s so frustrating trying to find clothes that fit when my waist is this tiny.

2.) Find a new hobby. Since I don’t work and the cook, nanny, maid, and gardener take care of everything around the house I need something to fill my long, dull days.

3.) Select a worthy recipient for all this extra scholarship money. My son has been awarded so many generous scholarships that they far exceed the cost of tuition, room, board, and books. I want to share our good fortune.

4.) Learn to speak fluent Italian. This will come in so handy since my loving husband has booked a month-long vacation in Italy to celebrate our anniversary this summer.

5.) Stop being so vain. The time and money I spend on manicures, pedicures, facials, spray-tanning, highlights, and other beauty treatments is quite embarrassing. I’m keeping my weekly massage appointment, though – there’s no reason I should be deprived of that.

Oh, I was supposed to make resolutions for my REAL life, not my fantasy life? Well, I really prefer the fantasy version, but here goes:

1.) Lose A LOT of weight. The last time I weighed this much I was about to go into labor.

2.) Come to terms with the fact that unless I can add about four hours to every day I am NEVER going to get everything done.

3.) Fill out the Financial Aid Forms and sprinkle them with holy water, then scope out the best deals on student loans.

4.) Be thankful I can still string words into a sentence in English (most days anyway) and pray we get to take a vacation at all this year.

5.) Get highlights – warm, subtle, Sarah Palin highlights. And talk my neurosurgeon into letting me get a massage.

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13 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolutions for 2010”

  1. The first one I read almost made me hate you…tiny waist, blech. But then I realized you were joking. Not that I hate people with tiny waists in general, just that I hate people with tiny waists who flash them around, and talk about them all the time, and tell me how hard it is to gain weight. I can show you how to gain weight, I'm like a weight gaining aficionado. I can do it with my eyes closed (and my mouth open). Good luck in you real life pursuits and hopefully by the end of 2010 all of your pretend ones will be closer to the truth!

  2. I thought you were serious at first…wanting to GAIN weight? I know there are people who have that problem, but as I read the next one, I knew I had been had!

    Great list!

  3. I like your fantasy list. It made me think that since most things go opposite in my life to what I want or desire then perhaps I should make up my own fantasy list and then if I fail at them I might succeed at my real goals. It is something for me to think about.

    visiting via mama kat

  4. I must admit that you had me at #1. I was thinking…'Holy moly! All of the people with weight loss resolutions are going to let their jaw hit the ground when they read that!'

  5. I don't think your real life sounds all that bad. We all have our things…but too much money and time does sound nice. 🙂

  6. lol. i wish fantasy resolutions were real!!!

    maybe you have already, but there are some really good college scholarship websites out there for non-specific scholarships, like so i recommend making your kid check them out 😉

    happy new year!

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