Michael, John and I went to the grocery one evening, and I wasn’t feeling great, was a bit stressed, but since I wanted certain things we normally don’t buy I went. I used to really prefer to do my grocery shopping alone – to concentrate on getting what I needed while still searching for bargains on things that may or may not be on my list. Even though it’s been three years now I still can’t get used to always needing someone with me for a grocery trip. But there are so many things I can’t pick up, and even if I’m just walking through, not pushing the cart or lifting anything my back is killing me by checkout time. This particular day, though, I was already talking to myself in the produce aisle. But unlike all the other times I talk to myself, this time I got an answer. I was muttering about mushrooms and a voice behind me said, “They are right over there.” This sweet little girl was being so nice to grumpy ol’ me I had to laugh!
I went to a baby shower over the weekend that was just fabulous! It was held at the grandma-to-be’s home with two out-of-town great-aunts-to-be hosting. The was a fabulous turnout, and they had put the most brilliant request on the invitations: instead of a card, buy a book and write in it! There were a lot of women in their forties and fifties reciting long-remembered Sandra Boynton prose that day, let me tell you! The games were clever, the food was fantastic, and every guest got a gift bag to take home! WOW, right? Something about that kept niggling at my brain, and on the way home it hit me. It reminded me of the movie Bridesmaids when everyone at the shower got puppies! I nearly drove off the road I was laughing so hard! When I got home I promptly texted grandma-to-be and thanked her for not sending us home with baby wombats
My fifteen-year-old inherited my deeply disturbed sense of humor, and when I was telling him and my husband about the party, and how frustrated I’d been not to remember what a baby deer was called John said that he had a movie idea. He thought they should remake Bambie as a zombie movie, and Bambie’s mother comes back to life as a zombie doe and eats the hunters. I’d go see that!
My first Nerium party was Tuesday, and it was great! I say “mine” like I did everything, which couldn’t be further from the truth. My friend Lisa offered up her house since mine is inhabited by wild beasts. My husband and partner made most of the food and loaded it in the car for me. Lisa unloaded it. Cathy, my Nerium sponsor, assembled all the sandwiches and did the whole presentation. Essentially I smiled and thanked people as they handed me their order forms, then took their “before” pictures.
One of the funniest parts of the party was when we went around in a circle introducing ourselves. A majority of the people there were nurses or worked in the medical field in some way. It was like “Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon”, but we could have called it “Two Degrees of Nurses in Louisville”. Pretty much everybody had worked at the same hospital or for the same company at the same time, whether they remembered each other or not. I think teachers are the same way after a couple of decades. But it brought back a lot of great memories and reminded me that even though I can’t work as a nurse anymore I can certainly hang out with them!
The guys were still awake when I got home to unload everything for me and eat the leftovers. John was particularly pleased that there were plenty of chocolate chocolate chip cookies left. “Why would anyone eat hummus instead of cookies?” he asked. I told them about Pooka, Lisa’s Schnauzer, who had posted himself under the wine box’s spout to keep the floor clean (uh-oh, tipsy dog!) and tried to fax in my orders. Faxing didn’t work. Another strike against Magic Jack. I’m beginning to wonder if $20 a year is a good deal when it pretty much does nothing I need from a land line.
Anyway, I got up Wednesday for long enough to enter all my orders, then went back to bed with an extra pain pill. I slept all day and all night. Yeah, sure CIGNA – I can work a full-time job. I attended a ninety-minute party and had to spend the whole next day in bed because of pain – that’s normal. Not. Anyway, I have a party in Lexington Sunday (email me for details if you’re gonna be in the area!) and then an appointment with an attorney Monday morning. At least I’m not driving to or from any of that stuff. Say a prayer for me. And don’t call me Monday afternoon – I’ll be in bed!
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