Tag Archives: family

Your Fur Babies – Capture the Everyday

These are the pictures and descriptions I wrote up for my pets and posted on NextDoor, a great free app that helps with lost and found pets, recommendations for everything from babysitting to automotive repair, and inside scoops for yard sales and local fundraisers (i.e. bags of mulch delivered to your home!).

100 pounds
Chocolate Lab
no chip, very friendly, mostly deaf, wears pearls with her leather tack shop collar with WRONG phone # (our old land line). Call (XXX) XXX-XXXX.

70 pounds
Boxer, Pit, Retriever Mix
Rescue, drug/bomb canine training dropout, wary of men; loves kids and small dogs – TOTAL Ladies’ Man! Fixed, no chip, usually wears bandanna with his leather tack shop collar with WRONG phone # (our old land line). Call (XXX) XXX-XXXX.

Jeez, they look like mugshots!  I hadn’t realized how small I had to take them down to go on my NextDoor profile! But it’s incredibly handy if Boss jumps the fence. Sam isn’t likely to go that far from her food bowl.

I love them both to pieces, and do all I can to keep them healthy and happy. We actually recently started making our own dog food! That’s a post all on its own, but our dogs enjoy free run of the house and large back yard; including sofas, beds, and random human guests they use as pillows.

We started out with cats! I still miss a sweet ball of fur curled up against me, purring. What sort of fur-babies do you have??

Oh, and next week’s topic is Spring Break: Share memories, plans, tips, whatever!

It’s All Relative

A few days ago one of my step-brothers was bitten by a copperhead while hiking.  He was bitten on the hand.  He was bitten on the hand because although he correctly identified the snake and knew it was poisonous he still poked it with a stick.

Then yesterday my step-sister (completely different family, absolutely no relation to the aforementioned step-brother) got married.  AWWW.  She got married on the same day her home-incarceration anklet came off.  She’s on probation for selling prescription drugs.

Comparatively, I’m both classy and brilliant this week.  Seriously, you can’t make this shit up.

Why Do We Get Together For Family Events?

I spent some quality time with a family member (by marriage) today. No, this is not the one who sent the snarky emails to many of my friends earlier this week, but they are very closely linked genetically. This person stood in my house and did the following things:

1.) Said to my 11-year-old son: “The only numbers women care about are the size of their boobs and ass.” I heard from the other room, walked in and said (loudly): “I suppose that depends on the sort of women you’re hanging out with.”
2.) He used the N-word within hearing of my children.
3.) He told a racial joke about Mexican-Americans.
4.) He told a story about a bride in the family opening her wedding gifts (one I’ve heard at least twenty times before) that ends with the punchline, “I think I’ll open the ones from Tiffany’s first.” He thinks that’s charming.
5.) He told my eldest (who was just trying to get out of the house and go to work) that he was too skinny, but he’d gain weight when he got married and got his appendix taken out (WTF?)
6.) He harassed children in the family (not just mine) for not eating everything on their plates, even when it was ice cream. Really, have we not gotten past the “clean your plate” mentality?
7.) Discussed a cosmetic surgery procedure he’s considering – at age 75.
8.) Called my dog the wrong name . . . twice.
9.) Told me about a very sentimental and nostalgic gift he’d sent for the arrival of a new baby in the family – it almost made me cry.

I guess this is why people still get together for family events. I thought I could see the 666 on his scalp, but perhaps it was just a rash.

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