Things I Don’t Understand

Things I Don’t Understand About My Family
1.) Dirty laundry stacked on top of an empty laundry hamper. Work with me here. It’s a “laundry hamper”. I bought it and placed it in the most convenient location for y’all to put your dirty clothes in it. Is it SO MUCH trouble to lift the lid and put the clothes inside?
2.) Family Guy. Really, that’s funny? I’ve never actually seen an entire episode because I just can’t take it. I’m the only one in my house that feels this way, though. The guys would watch it 24/7. It’s offensive, and my eleven-year-old has to sneak and watch it when I’m not paying attention. Really, I’m offended on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll just drop it.
3.) Popcorn kernels in the dog’s food bowl. When I share popcorn with the dog I toss kernels in the air and she catches them. It’s a snack AND entertainment. Why would you walk in the other room and pour popcorn into the dog’s food bowl?
Things My Family Doesn’t Understand About Me
1.)Since I get up at 3:15 every morning I expect everyone else to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by 7:00 at the latest. I’ll be calling you and texting you and expect a quick and coherent response.
2.)The appearance of our house reflects poorly on me personally. If someone drops by unexpectedly and this place is a trash pit they’re not going to think, “Michael and the boys don’t pick up after themselves very well, do they?” No, they’ll think “Wow, Angie is a major slacker in the housekeeping department.”
3.)I cry at sad movies and books. Sometimes (Steel Magnolias) I sob hysterically. This does not mean I am depressed or having some sort of breakdown. Just ignore me and it will pass.

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