A while back I found this on Facebook and saved it:
Boss bit me. It wasn’t like he tore off a finger or anything – I think I just woke him up from a dream and he was startled and disoriented enough to snap at me hard enough to draw blood. I cried hysterically. I cried so hard Michael wanted to take me to the ER. John woke up and came running in to see what had happened. When I finally calmed down enough to talk all I could get out was, “My life sucks and my own dog bit me!” Talk about the straw that broke the camel’s back! Poor Boss followed me around being especially sweet and cuddly for three days after that. He wouldn’t even let me go to the bathroom alone.
Then the next day there was evidently a national yellow jacket convention in our back yard. Michael found it while mowing the back yard. He came in swearing and pulling off his clothes, slapping at the nasty things the whole time. He was covered in them. And, of course, he’s allergic to bee stings. Meanwhile, I was still in my pajamas (yes, it was late afternoon) and expecting a friend to arrive any minute with a free sample of an anti-aging cream I’d been seeing all over Facebook and was dying to try. Michael didn’t have an anaphylactic reaction, so I got my cream (yes, I’m selfish like that). Then I felt guilty, so I went out to spray the yellow jackets. I got stung worse than Michael did. Turns out they’d taken over a huge gopher hole near the garage. We’ve learned a lot about treating stings and killing insects this week.
The cream, though – oh my, the cream! It’s called Nerium, and my skin looked and felt so much better after three days I called my friend up and told her I wanted to sell it. Since I didn’t have the money to buy the Starter Pack she loaned me some literature, took me to a party, suggested some You Tube videos, and gave me five bottles from her personal stash to sell. I have four more to sell, but I’m trying really hard, because this is a miraculous product. It also involves me getting dressed and getting out of the house at least once a week, and interacting with some really positive, upbeat, generous people. That’s exactly what I need right now. Honestly, it’s what’s gotten me out of bed the past several days. (Please email me if you want to buy a bottle – I swear you’ll love it!)
One day I got carried away and sat at the computer too long without taking breaks to rest my neck (I really need to every thirty minutes or so), and I paid for it the next day. But I’ve figured out that I actually can do some of this while lying down (like watching the You Tube videos or reading magazines), so I’m feeling pretty productive. Of course since I was doing something different during the day the dogs had to remind me when it was time for meals and potty breaks. They are on a very specific schedule. I was silently congratulating myself on having this whole dog schedule running like a well-oiled machine when I realized I hadn’t trained the dogs – they’d trained me. It’s humbling to realize where you really stand with your pets.
On another positive note, I did manage to successfully fax from my printer the other day. I know, it’s not that big a deal for most people. But I have some sort of mental block with it. I don’t do it often enough, so I never remember how, and then I never feel really sure that it worked. And I realize was a horrible housekeeper I am when I’m knee-deep in dust-bunnies behind the computer desk :/
With this coming Monday being Labor Day I wanted to share a tidbit I overheard on whatever news show Michael watches while he’s getting ready in the morning. Forty percent of Americans don’t take all the paid vacation they’ve earned each year because they are afraid doing so will cost them their jobs. What?! I realize I’ve never been part of cut-throat corporate America, but do you know how many people work their entire lives without a paid vacation? If you get vacation as a benefit of your job use it! Even if you don’t go anywhere spend some extra time with your family and friends. Life is short and there’s no such thing as job security – trust me on that.
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